*I am not giving up*
Now that the dust is almost settled, it’s imperative for me to share my story, which I am sure most people are not aware of. I didn’t get here accidentally.
On Thursday night, I accompanied a friend of mine to go see someone who wasn’t feeling well. I had a very interesting conversation with one of the ladies I met for the first time at that house. She asked me what gives me the temerity and passion to carry on despite the challenges. I gave a response from a spiritual standpoint which I wish to share here.
When my brother Itai Dzamara was abducted, my life changed drastically. I didn’t plan or project the change. The days soon after Itai’s abduction were the most difficult days for me as I grappled to assume a posture and response regarding the abduction. I seldom dream but during those days I would dream everyday for almost two months and Itai Dzamara always appeared in the dreams. I didn’t understand the meaning of the dreams and so I embarked on an intense prayer program over that. I asked God to give me clarity. I know to some this will sound too pious to be true but that’s what it is. This is my story and I am holding on to it, for it can’t be otherwise.
In that season, God clearly spoke to me through many different ways that I had to divorce my comfort zone and take a bold stand against human rights violations and leadership failure in Zimbabwe. I had other plans revolving around my career as a leadership coach, author, practitioner and lecturer. Ultimately, my reasoning was that after what had happened to my brother I was supposed to be the last person to even think of treading on the same path. I didn’t want this and i tried to resist. However, just like Jonah, I could not run away from the will of God.
They say that destiny is a matter of choice but at times destiny chooses us. When it does, nothing and no-one can do anything about it. I didn’t choose this path. Neither did I at any point project or set myself up for it. From a tender age I understood that my purpose revolves around leadership and that at some point it will culminate in national leadership. I didn’t anticipate that my entrance into that domain would be in the way it happened and at that particular juncture.
When I realized that I could not run away from God’s will, I grudgingly accepted the call and the almighty God made a pact with me. He promised me that my parents will not lose me the same way they lost Itai (We still pray that we shall meet him on this side of life). He also told me that the road shall not be easy for me but ultimately I shall emerge victorious. That’s my only anchor and that’s what gives me the audacity to carry on despite the risks and tribulations I meet on the way. God is not a man that he should lie. What happened on Friday attests to that fact, they wanted to kill me but mercy said no. God is all i have dear brothers and sisters.
By now, I am sure the story of what happened to me on Friday morning has been told and of course there are so many theories and versions being promulgated. Everyone is indeed entitled to their opinion.
Unidentified armed men blocked two vehicles in which we were travelling in, during the early hours of Friday 18 November 2016 in Harare. Some of my colleagues fled in the mayhem and the armed men proceeded to blindfold me and bundled me into a truck before setting our vehicles ablaze.
I was assaulted on the back of the head and all over my back with spikes which had been thrown in front of my vehicle before being driven to a place which I strongly suspect to be Lake Chivero.
Throughout my detention in the truck, a gun was stuck to my neck. I was warned that i had not learnt from the fate of my missing brother and was told that; “Hauna kudzidza pane zvatakaaita kumukoma wako manje nguva yekudzidza yakwana,” loosely translated to mean; “You haven’t learnt and taken heed of how we treated your brother and now your time to learn is upon you.”
While at the lake, the unidentified men spent some time talking to a man whom they referred to as ‘Boss’ inquiring whether to proceed with option one or option two and during their consultation with the ‘Boss’ they indicated that they had containers, iron bars and cotton but no ‘catalyst.’ I suspected that the unidentified men intended to throw me in Lake Chivero but they eventually tied up my hands and dumped me undressed near Snake Park in Norton and along the Harare-Bulawayo highway after tearing up all my clothes and further assaulting me.
I crawled to the road seeking assistance around 3am, but passersby kept a distance thinking i was a witch. In fact one man i suspect was drunk stopped his car about 20 meters from where i stood and he shouted at me that i was a witch and he would return to beat me up. It was difficult for me to get help and transportation because I was still in pain and it is even more difficult to get transport when you don’t have clothes, but eventually, I was assisted to get to a service station and called my brother, who delivered me to the hospital.
I am still in hospital and recovering well. I thank God that I didn’t suffer any internal injuries and should be up and running soon.
Despite the fact that I lost my car which I named struggle and other valuables, including three smart phones, an IPad, a laptop and clothes, I am not at all moved. The same God who blessed me with those items will still provide for me.
Neither am I discouraged from pursuing the quest towards a better Zimbabwe. This experience has actually emboldened my resolve to work and fight for a better Zimbabwe. I am not done yet and its not over yet. I still have something to give.
I know that the quest for a better Zimbabwe is not exonerated from hypocrites and phony elements but I wish to thank all those who remain true blue to the fundamentals of camaraderie-ship and the struggle at large, those who visited me, those who reached out to me in various ways and all who issued solidarity statements during this austere season. You are my heroes.
I have been given denigrating names, i have been attacked at times by people i look up to, i have been ridiculed, i have been misunderstood, i have been marooned by some i thought were close to me, i have been maligned and i have been accused falsely but i am not giving up. Its too late to give up. I will finish this race because God’s grace is sufficient for me. He who begun a good work in me shall carry me through to its completion. My God will never put me to shame.
Come what may, i wont be silenced over what these evil men and women did to Itai Dzamara and also Mugabe and his minions’ failure to run the affairs of this nation. Not only shall i speak out but i give myself away as a solution bearer. Oh yes, we shall lead this country to where it belongs.
A new and better Zimbabwe is possible in our lifetime. We shall come face to face with it.